Earmarks

Politicians are feeding at the public trough right now.

"The term earmark comes from the practice of marking the ears of livestock for identification, yet in American politics it has come to mean money that is "set aside for a special project or purpose": AKA pet projects, pork. As I'm sure that animals are not thrilled by this procedure, I am more confident that Congress and their frivolous spending outrages the American people.

According to Taxpayers for Common Sense, an independent watchdog organization states "widespread earmarking is a relatively new phenomenon in American politics, which gained momentum in the 1970's". Pork in a bill in Congress is as common as a hot dog at a football game. Moreover there continues to be a rise in pork barrel spending and there is no getting around it; both Republicans and Democrats are part of this Congressional excess and waste.

During the first presidential debate Senator John McCain and then Senator Barack Obama argued over the earmark issue, and Obama pledged, 'Absolutely, we need earmark reform. And when I'm president, I will go line by line to make sure that we are not spending money unwisely.'"

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The Difference Between Men and Women

"Men forget everything; women remember everything. That's why men need instant replay in sports. They've already forgotten what happened." - Rita Rudner

How Rich Are You?

Percentage of world population and their yearly individual income:

Bottom 10 percent $400
Bottom 20 percent $500
Bottom 50 percent $850
Bottom 75 percent $1,487
Bottom 85 percent $2,182

Top 10 percent $25,400
Top 5 percent $33,700
Top 1 percent $47,500

-stats from World Bank Development Research Group

Congressional Pay

From 1789 to 1855, citizen members of Congress were paid a $6 per diem while Congress was in session. If Congress was in session for 200 days, they would be reimbursed $1,200 for the year except during the War of 1812 when they were paid an annual stipend of $1,500. In 1855 Congress voted themselves a permanent income of $3,000. From 1855 to 1968 Congress voted themselves raises 22 times. By 1968 when Richard Nixon was elected, Congressmen earned $30 thousand and presidents earned $100 thousand. Today, Congressmen earn $174 thousand and presidents earn $400 thousand.

Islam Confronts Europe

Der Spiegel reports that Switzerland has banned the construction of minarets. England allows sharia law to handle civil cases. Other nations in Erope are dealing with headscarves for girls. Muslim immigration is on the rise. No wonder that Europe is now being referred to as Eurabia.

"Dealing with Islam is perhaps the greatest challenge facing Europe. If the Continent manages to preserve its own values without discriminating against Muslims, then a consensus on values can be achieved and European Muslims could become a model for the Islamic world. If it fails, however, Europe could betray its own values, and the populists could win and their simple solutions would fan the flames of the clash of cultures."

Der Spiegel

A Child's Book Report on the Bible

In the beginning, which occurred near the start, there was nothing but God, darkness, and some gas. The Bible says, 'The Lord thy God is one, but I think He must be a lot older than that.

Anyway, God said, 'Give me a light!' and someone did.

Then God made the world.
He split the Adam and made Eve. Adam and Eve were naked, but they weren't embarrassed because mirrors hadn't been invented yet.

Adam and Eve disobeyed God by eating one bad apple, so they were driven from the Garden of Eden .....Not sure what they were driven in though, because they didn't have cars.

Adam and Eve had a son, Cain, who hated his brother as long as he was Abel.

Pretty soon all of the early people died off, except for Methuselah , who lived to be like a million or something.

One of the next important people was Noah, who was a good guy, but one of his kids was kind of a Ham. Noah built a large boat and put his family and some animals on it. He asked some other people to join him, but they said they would have to take a rain check.

After Noah came Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. Jacob was more famous than his brother, Esau, because Esau sold Jacob his birthmark in exchange for some pot roast. Jacob had a son named Joseph who wore a really loud sports coat.

Another important Bible guy is Moses, whose real name was Charlton Heston . Moses led the Israel Lights out of Egypt and away from the evil Pharaoh after God sent ten plagues on Pharaoh's people. These plagues included frogs, mice, lice, bowels, and no cable.

God fed the Israel Lights every day with manicotti. Then he gave them His Top Ten Commandments. These include: don't lie, cheat, smoke, dance, or covet your neighbor's stuff.
Oh, yeah, I just thought of one more: Humor thy father and thy mother.

One of Moses' best helpers was Joshua who was the first Bible guy to use spies. Joshua fought the battle of Geritol and the fence fell over on the town.

After Joshua came David. He got to be king by killing a giant with a slingshot. He had a son named Solomon who had about 300 wives and 500 porcupines. My teacher says he was wise, but that doesn't sound very wise to me.

After Solomon there were a bunch of major league prophets. One of these was Jonah, who was swallowed by a big whale and then barfed up on the shore.

There were also some minor league prophets, but I guess we don't have to worry about them.

After the Old Testament came the New Testament . Jesus is the star of The New. He was born in Bethlehem in a barn. (I wish I had been born in a barn too, because my mom is always saying to me, 'Close the door! Were you born in a barn?' It would be nice to say, 'As a matter of fact, I was.')

During His life, Jesus had many arguments with sinners like the Pharisees and the Democrats.

Jesus also had twelve opossums.
The worst one was Judas Asparagus. Judas was so evil that they named a terrible vegetable after him.

Jesus was a great man. He healed many leopards and even preached to some Germans on the Mount.

But the Democrats and all those guys put Jesus on trial before Pontius the Pilot. Pilot didn't stick up for Jesus. He just washed his hands instead.

Anyways, Jesus died for our sins, then came back to life again. He went up to Heaven but will be back at the end of the Aluminum. His return is foretold in the book of Revolution.

Richards Quote

“I've never had a problem with drugs. I've had problems with the police.”
- Keith Richards of the Rolling Stones